Packrats...

[kalloway]

I adore the idea of this community and hope it'll be helpful. I've tried programs like FlyLady over the years, and found them... too naggy for lack of a better word.


I'm nearly 30 and live at home as the only child of two packrat-hoarders, one of whom doesn't want to admit that he is one. I'm a fannish person and yeah... I get into the fandoms with tons of books, model kits, figures, etc.

Mom - older, born at the end of the Depression, also has an auto-immune disease and pretty much has no stamina. Has finally gotten rid of two decades of newspapers she's never going to get through, but still has piles of other stuff that will eventually get recycled or 'sent to the garage sale', which basically means storing it in a friend's garage til she can sit out there and hope someone will buy it (we live out in the middle of nowhere so having our own garage sale isn't viable). When she goes on vacation, I stealthily throw things away. Last time she was gone, I bought a new mop to replace two broken mops that were being kept anyway... got those in the garbage (and mopped!)...

Dad - normally referred to as 'male parent', has a severe drinking problem, thinks he's perfect and Mom and I are the problems. Incapable of ever sitting down and sorting something. Hasn't seen his desk in more than a decade and then complains about it without doing anything about it. Gets more crap in the mail than either of us do. Current obsessions - license plates and casino chips. I'm supposed to make him a database (on google-docs, so he can easily share/transport it between computers) for his license plates, but he won't tell me what fields he wants on it and then complains that I never do anything... *facepalm* He's more than a decade younger than Mom and is also very frustrated by her being sick.

Me - working part time but very much needing to get out of this house. Too much Japanese stuff, though I've sold off about half my collection over the last couple years. Currently needing to clean out childhood bedroom so it can be renovated before all the plaster comes down. I've got the very annoying problem of 'needing to have EVERYTHING' for something. Latest hobby - Monster High dolls. Originally I said I just wanted a few and of characters I like, which has become 'NEED THEM ALL'. (Co-workers are enablers, for the record -- small workplace of ladies who love my various collections.) I'm trying to get back to 'can get a couple of dolls that are really nice when I have the funds for them', but it's difficult. I am a diagnosed OCD person, too.

My goal is to be able to move out of this place by the end of the year, which means getting rid of a lot of stuff in the process. All of my 'nerd stuff' from the old bedroom is being stored at present - what's left is old toys and other stuff that I was in the process of selling. The good news for that is that I've got a table at a toy/comic show next weekend.

Of course, there's a good chance I'll come home with different stuff, but hopefully much less of it. Last time I did this, I returned with 5 boxes out of 22, plus one crate of new things (four model kits).

Quite a bit of this is compounded by my Grandfather (Father's Side) passing away a decade ago, so we ended up with all his stuff to deal with (he was a diecast car collector and got really bad about it at the end, but if it made him happy... but... 30,000 Hot Wheels cars...). And then Grandmother (Mother's Side) needing to go from house to senior-apartment to assisted-living over the span of five years... All that stuff too.

Today will be a 'stuff in' day, alas, since I need to run to the comic store to find something to have signed for a friend at the toy/comic show, since one of the guests worked on one of her favourite series. And I can't imagine not grabbing something for myself. *sigh*

Comments

[peaceful_sands]

Good luck! I've found setting small goals has helped - so 'a' drawer which is more likely to turn into doing 2 or 3 and then the whole set, rather than 'a set of drawers' which I look at and think I'm not sure I've got time to do them all now so I won't start! Also planning what I'm going to do with the outgoing items - recycling, charity, friend, family, bin.

I hope the comm helps. Everyone here is friendly and we do understand what we're all going through - after all, we're in this together!

[kalloway]

Thanks! And yeah... it's really easy to get overwhelmed, even on the smallest things. But I'll keep trying. ^_^

[beachlass]

Oh hon. Sounds like you've got some well worn family patterns of hoarding.

I've found the 1 in 1 out methos really helpful for curbing what I was bringing in. Especially if I told myself I would have to give up a similar item. Buying new books? Meant I had to get rid of books.

hug and welcome and good luck!

[kalloway]

I do, and it can be a beast to deal with.

*hug* Thank you! This has been a project in progress for years and I feel like I'm never really getting anywhere.

[angelbabe_cj]

Welcome to the community and thanks for the intro. It's always great to see a starting point and how far people come.

I'm going to join the chorus for small goals, it really does make things easier.

[kalloway]

Thanks. ^_^

I get unfocused easily, so yeah... Trying to tackle small areas will hopefully be a lot easier. (And not let small areas turn into half-done-for-days big areas...)

[spuffyduds]

Oh my god I know what you mean about Flylady, I tried that and after a couple of weeks I was like OH MY GOD SHUT UPPPPPPPPPP.

[kalloway]

I'm glad I'm not the only one. So many good ideas mixed with so much annoyance = AUGH CAN'T DEAL.