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unclutterPlease forgive me. I needed to vent. The people in my house are frustrating me.
I love my mother, I really do. Circumstances dictated that we needed to live together. OK. She has a nice large room, we get along pretty well most of the time. Except when she gets a burr up her butt.
Like today. We are cleaning, and reorganizing. I discovered a particular container that I bought two of (to hold a bunch of related card games) will fit in the linen closet side by side. This is what happened:
Mom: *excited* Wow! This is great!
Me: *excited* Yeah! I know!
*Using the empty container, we also find it fits the shelf in the walk in closet perfectly as well as a shelving unit I have set up for my sewing stuff*
Mom: *even more excited* YAY! Ok, we'll have to get twenty!
Me: *laughs a little* OK, we'll get ten if they have that many...
Mom: *stubborn set to jaw* No. We NEED twenty.
Me: *a little alarmed* Um, no, no we don't.
Mom: JUST IN CASE.
ARGH!!!! This just in case crap has been hounding me all my farking life! I have a bunch of lids to shoebox containers. I don't know where the heck the bottoms went, just a stack of stupid lids that my mom throws a fit over because she wants to MAKE SURE we have lids for these now-mythical containers. Next monday when trash and recycling go out, whoops, how did these lids get in there? I won't thorw them all out but I'm pretty sure half can disappear and not even be noticed.
Another frustration is my husband. He likes to get things. And they sit. Projects take YEARS to do because he gets the stuff for them... and they sit because he has no time/is sick on the days he can work on it/it's such a pretty day we need to take the children out! And should I try to get them done he gets upset because he planned on doing it! I practically have to force him to look in the boxes of stuff that's his, and then he can only do a few at a time, because then his allergies kick in and he starts feeling unwell. And I feel like screaming YOU KNOW, IF YOU SORTED THROUGH THIS BEFORE ALL THE DUST GOT ON IT THEN YOU WOULDN"T BE SICK!Oh, and he'll bitch about how messy the house is. but won't go through the cables and other things he needs to, so we can get more organization in the home.
I have three kids in the house. Two I don't really expect to do much (they are three and one) but the teenager. THE TEENAGER WILL DRIVE ME UP THE WALL. I get she's a teenager, that her mind is not on stuff, that she's experiencing a difference in how she's grown up because I'm trying to clean and all... but lord love a duck. She'll just leave her purse in the silverware drawer, her clothes on the floor... one of her chores was taking the trash and recycling out... and she'll get distracted and leave the bags just sitting on the floor. Then she gets upset when I remind her, or finish the chore myself since she only gets paid for completed chores. BUT IF I DON'T SAY ANYTHING OR DO IT, IT WON"T GET COMPLETED.
*sigh* I know it's going to take time and a concentrated effort to get everyone on the same page... but sometimes it just feels like I'm trying to plug the holes in the dam myself and more keep showing up ;( Thanks for listening.
I love my mother, I really do. Circumstances dictated that we needed to live together. OK. She has a nice large room, we get along pretty well most of the time. Except when she gets a burr up her butt.
Like today. We are cleaning, and reorganizing. I discovered a particular container that I bought two of (to hold a bunch of related card games) will fit in the linen closet side by side. This is what happened:
Mom: *excited* Wow! This is great!
Me: *excited* Yeah! I know!
*Using the empty container, we also find it fits the shelf in the walk in closet perfectly as well as a shelving unit I have set up for my sewing stuff*
Mom: *even more excited* YAY! Ok, we'll have to get twenty!
Me: *laughs a little* OK, we'll get ten if they have that many...
Mom: *stubborn set to jaw* No. We NEED twenty.
Me: *a little alarmed* Um, no, no we don't.
Mom: JUST IN CASE.
ARGH!!!! This just in case crap has been hounding me all my farking life! I have a bunch of lids to shoebox containers. I don't know where the heck the bottoms went, just a stack of stupid lids that my mom throws a fit over because she wants to MAKE SURE we have lids for these now-mythical containers. Next monday when trash and recycling go out, whoops, how did these lids get in there? I won't thorw them all out but I'm pretty sure half can disappear and not even be noticed.
Another frustration is my husband. He likes to get things. And they sit. Projects take YEARS to do because he gets the stuff for them... and they sit because he has no time/is sick on the days he can work on it/it's such a pretty day we need to take the children out! And should I try to get them done he gets upset because he planned on doing it! I practically have to force him to look in the boxes of stuff that's his, and then he can only do a few at a time, because then his allergies kick in and he starts feeling unwell. And I feel like screaming YOU KNOW, IF YOU SORTED THROUGH THIS BEFORE ALL THE DUST GOT ON IT THEN YOU WOULDN"T BE SICK!Oh, and he'll bitch about how messy the house is. but won't go through the cables and other things he needs to, so we can get more organization in the home.
I have three kids in the house. Two I don't really expect to do much (they are three and one) but the teenager. THE TEENAGER WILL DRIVE ME UP THE WALL. I get she's a teenager, that her mind is not on stuff, that she's experiencing a difference in how she's grown up because I'm trying to clean and all... but lord love a duck. She'll just leave her purse in the silverware drawer, her clothes on the floor... one of her chores was taking the trash and recycling out... and she'll get distracted and leave the bags just sitting on the floor. Then she gets upset when I remind her, or finish the chore myself since she only gets paid for completed chores. BUT IF I DON'T SAY ANYTHING OR DO IT, IT WON"T GET COMPLETED.
*sigh* I know it's going to take time and a concentrated effort to get everyone on the same page... but sometimes it just feels like I'm trying to plug the holes in the dam myself and more keep showing up ;( Thanks for listening.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-15 10:30 am (UTC)If you don't mind a practical suggestion:
One of the reactions I have been trying to grow out of since I was a teenager is the guilty/angry/defensive response to being reminded of something I should have done. I understand why I get upset at "being nagged", but it's not a constructive reaction and it has to do with the contrast between self-image and reality (as well as just the general annoyance of being dragged from something fun to something a bit dull).
So in your shoes, I would probably give her a time-limited (like 5 minutes) opportunity to complete her chore and earn her money when you trip over the bags, and then you can work some other more neutral time on why she feels so upset on being reminded of stuff she said she'd do.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-15 04:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-16 02:29 am (UTC)*big hugs*
Not easy stuff to negotiate.