unclutter | This started as a reply but now isn't!

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This started as a reply but now isn't!

I began to write in reply to people who were going to move, and was in solidarity but also wanted to point out that I feel some of the articals (even ones that I posted here), may be too extreme or missing the point or simply have a point of "empty everything out" as opposed to fine-tuning it more. What do you guys think on this theme?

Yup, my partner and I are moving from some places that are not finished and bulging with stuff (my old house which still has a lot of my valued things in it, my boss's 150-year-old office building that he just sold to a really creepy person who is pushing us out ASAP, my office rented downtown that I haven't been to in a couple of years since I had an accident, etc.), plus this apartment we have been in for half a year maybe, plus the fact that my partner and I plan to buy a house together somewhere else, which will require pruning everything from at least the old house and this one and any incidental things that I may have stashed in the office I have worked at daily for over 15 years, etc. It is amazing the amount and categories of crap I have, and how a lot of it is pretty much "me saving it for smarter generations" or "for those who would appreciate it" or even as sort of magical talismans. To me, some of the unclutter articles are ruthless and maybe miss the point: sure, if someone wants zero crap or belongings, it can be done, but then is the person's life utterly impoverished of things that evoke good feelings and memories and actual links to other time periods? I firmly believe that, say, a coin from 1957 or 2009 or 1678 *has* some of the energy of that time, because it was around then. My body was not necessarily around for all those time periods, and so it does not have a material link like that.

Additionally, when I lived in a dangerous area a year or so back for a long time, I *intentionally* packed the house with clutter, so that if people came in to steal stuff (they did), it would be harder for them to see something of value, and also I hoarded disposable stuff like recyclables that I planned to get rid of sometime as an extra layer of energetic insulation, in a way. I didn't want the cootie vibes of people, their noise and the petty criminals that actually came into the downstairs of the house and yard, and whatever cootie vibes some people swore were from ghosts etc., just roaming around unrestricted. Of course, I had nice Buddha statues and stuff too to combat the bad energy and try to balance it out, but I actually felt that it served a purpose in its way.

Can anyone relate to this? To me, it's pretty much the same as having extra fat on your body to keep you feeling safer from other people's energy or intentions etc.

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I don't believe the stuff in my life has magical properties. Not my bible, my singing bowl or my great-grandmother's wedding dress. And, speaking for myself, I'm not trying to attain a minimalist lifestyle, but to enjoy the life I have, without drowning in unnecessary, unhealthy attachments.

I think there are many reasons why we accumulate things - for myself I know that part is I feel bad getting rid of things that are still usable/functional or in good condition, I feel guilty disposing of things that were presents (regardless of whether I like or dislike the item in question). I've also over the years accumulated things that might be useful in my job - the problem is I've reached the point of too many things so I can't find them when I do actually need them.

In a moment of brutal honesty, I have also accumulated things at times to hide my unhappiness. There are things in my life that I can't change in the ways I want to, people's opinions that hurt and at times I've spent money to try and convince myself that I can be happy, I can have 'things' that make me smile. The problem with that is that in reality I didn't need or really want the things in question for anything more than passing interest but I still live with them. The same guilt that applies to throwing out unwanted gifts or still usable items above, applies to the things I bought to make me happy, but now they're having the opposite effect. They're encroaching on my life, stopping me seeing the things I do like and I do want because of the clutter.

I'm never going to be a minimalist, but I know that I don't need half the things I own and that I actually like to have the space to move and to see the good things that I do have. I have no intention of getting rid of all of my books, but why am I keeping ones I don't like or have no real intention of reading? I love music, so I'm never going to clear out all of my CDs, but seriously just because I bought them in a sale when there were 5 for the price of 3 or there was one track on a CD that I liked once upon a time, do I really need to have so many CDs? And yeah, the ones I do like, I'm still going to buy the hard copy CD editions and not just the downloads - I like having the real thing (LOL). I'm never going to be a size 10 again (short of some drastic nip/tuck type surgery - which isn't going to happen), so why keep clothes that are? And if I did get back to that size, then I'd deserve a shopping trip for new clothes for my efforts! I could go on but I won't.

For me, I think, this uncluttering business is about getting rid of the things that are having a negative effect on my life by taking up space that could be free or filled with something that I really do like seeing. I am not about to move any time soon, although to make the life changes that I'd like it would be one of the things that would need to happen, but I've begun to look at my things with an eye that says, "If I were to move, what would I really want to take with me? If I were to start over somewhere new, which parts of this life do I want to take with me?" Maybe I should make new mantra - Quality not Quantity.

I should also waffle less - my apologies, when I started writing, I hadn't intended to go on so long! xx

I feel bad getting rid of things that are still usable/functional or in good condition, I feel guilty disposing of things that were presents (regardless of whether I like or dislike the item in question)

Oh gosh, me toooooo. Even if I do not use the usable things, or they are only barely usable. One of the things I am trying to get rid of now is perfectly usable, relatively new $clothes that I just don't find comfortable. It is hard.

Totally! Actually, uncomfortable but good condition clothes are for me relatively easy to get rid of - I feel no qualms about taking them to the Salvation Army or one of the charity shops. I'm worse for hanging on to clothes that don't quite fit, or looked good/felt nice in the shop, even if they don't really. Or the worst thing of all is the old familiar clothes that I think I can get one more wear out of, when really they should have been thrown many a moon ago! LOL!

Well, I should be more specific: most clothes, not so bad. Underwear, much harder to get rid of just because it's uncomfortable. (Also, I only like one brand of underwear and Target no longer carries the cheap version, so getting rid of underwear means potentially having to buy more underwear.)

Most of the unclutter/cleanup articles I've read focus on "what's the minimum amount of stuff you can have for a comfortable life" rather than "what's the maximum amount of stuff you can have and still be able to find and use it as necessary, and have space for you & friends to relax in your home?"

I want less clutter in my home. I want less stuff. But I don't want a stuff-free life; I don't want a minimalist approach. I want something that helps me decide what to keep & how to keep it, not just what to get rid of.

I want something that helps me decide what to keep & how to keep it, not just what to get rid of.

This is why I like organizing more than decluttering, as a philosophy. Of course one can decide not to keep things as one organizes, but the emphasis is on being able to store stuff in a way that works for you, so you have more time and space to do things you want to do with your stuff, rather than poking through piles trying to find it.

Julie Morgenstern's books have been very helpful for me.

To me, some of the unclutter articles are ruthless and maybe miss the point: sure, if someone wants zero crap or belongings, it can be done, but then is the person's life utterly impoverished of things that evoke good feelings and memories and actual links to other time periods?

Yeah, me too. I have a lot of crafts stuff, and I do periodically go through it and give away stuff I'm not going to use--but I'm not going to stop doing crafts, or become a person who gives away or sells everything they make. I'm not going to switch entirely to ebooks. I just want to have less stuff I don't use/don't need/don't like, stuff that's mildly amusing but doesn't really evoke deep memories. And I want the stuff I do have to be organized and easy to find--I'm finding a certain amount of duplication as I sort through things, due to me forgetting I had something, or not being able to find it. I'm not going for minimalism, just organization and efficiency. If I can find the stuff I need quickly I have more time to do crafts.

When my mom finally got my dad to move out, she soon ended up putting a big pile of furniture and boxes on the side of the garage he used to park his car. I think after the time we got back from vacation and found him in the living room. Clutter can definitely be protective (I personally do not believe in stuff having magical properties, but to each their own).

Of course, now my dad is dead and she wants me to help her declutter her house while she still has some energy. One doesn't necessarily need the same clutter all the time.

i definitely want less clutter and fewer unloved things around me, but i'm housebound so the things (and cats *g*) around me are most of my world, and i want it to filled with beauty and things i love. minimalist would never work for me.

I think there can be an extreme, almost puritanical, approach to decluttering. A dear friend of mine wrote recently about how actually quite a lot of her Stuff was positive and made her happy and had brought good things into her life, and she just didn't see Stuff as this entangling monster. On the other hand, if she had two rooms' less Stuff, she and her husband could afford to buy a house that would hold them comfortably whereas now they can't, and are stuck renting from a series of slightly dodgy landlords.

I found it a useful counterpoint to the minimalist lifestyle: I'm not very interested in being puritanical and minimalist, but I think minimalism is not my problem right now! Mostly I am trying to tackle and remove the clutter that gets in the way of enjoying the nice things in my life. But I try to remember that I am supposed to be making my house nicer, not punishing myself for accumulating so many things.

Focusing on numbers helps me mark progress day by day and keep at it, when I can't see visible progress in a room or even a shelf. It also helps remind me that I live among abundance, and to think twice before bringing more in. However, I think what's more important is the meaning behind the numbers: stuff going out taking away unhappy/guilty/negative feelings associated with it, and stuff coming in chosen to meet a need or simply to make me, or someone I love, happy.

I'm so glad to see a lot of comments on the subject! My feeling is that each person has to decide what suits him/herself and the life s/he wants, and often trial and error can help to find that out. I have seen some lists or articles that are very ruthless and don't seem written with a wide range of folks in mind, and that seems maybe to provoke short-sighted purging in an effort to feel effective for some. One person who appears to be very intentionally-controlled as far as stuff/belongings and lifestyle go is the lady who writes Fabulously Broke (the feed is on my page), and who had a lot of debt and then got a lot money through work and is really into a kind of minimalism that works for her and her job assignments that can be away from home for weeks or months. She has some individual posts on her philosophy, which would suit some people and not others.

I think this is an interesting post. I don't frame it in terms of magic because I'm not that kind of person, but I know that I confuse clutter with meaningful stuff, partly because I didn't grow up knowing what good memories and meaningful objects were. Now that my grandmother's passed away and I'm helping my family go through her house, I'm getting much more of a feel for what really does have meaning for me and what's just me thinking that I "should" have something because it "should" make me feel happier and loved.

I can see a similarity there to having things because they "should" make you feel safer and more secure...

I think that people view things differently, and I think that's a great insight, your learning to understand what has meaning for you and what is some sort of incorrect expectation. I used to have things that had meaning to me, but I got electrocuted and lost some of the brain functions for "meaning" and "wanting" (including for food and romance and a few other semi-survival aspects of life). I think that having that insight, of basically "what matters to you" is important in every aspect of life--when I was living in the old house with the crime and all, I felt like partway the extra crap around (and it was crap, not "extra valuables" or "extra priceless objects") served to help me feel like it would be okay if people interfered with some of it, since I couldn't prevent it (the police were not helpful, and extra locks etc. seemed not to help either). Now, as I hope to move to a purchased house with my partner within this half-year or so maybe, I only want to take things of significance to me or him, or to others, like books I want and also want to be able to lend, or toys the cats enjoy. I am starting to get some sense of "meaning" or "value" again, but I don't want to get clutchy and try to keep everything in the world--

I am starting to get some sense of "meaning" or "value" again, but I don't want to get clutchy and try to keep everything in the world

Yeah. I have a similar problem - because I'm still not good at knowing what has real meaning to me and what's just me getting lost in my own head, I find it nearly impossible to throw anything away; it might be a mistake that I'd regret. All I can do is keep on thinking I guess.

That's an amazing story about being electrocuted - I'm glad you're starting to recover yourself a bit.

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