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Enjoying Things

Well, it's been a week. ^^;;

I've been playing Final Fantasy VII for the first time in ages and really enjoying it. I'm playing the Switch version, with most of the 'cheats' enabled, which has basically made it into Story Mode, which is fine. I know eventually I'm going to get to endgame chocobo stuff and no cheats will save my arse... (also chocobo breeding/racing my beloved - Sephi can wait lol)

((seriously, if S-E could just make a chocobo breeding mobile game...))

Went down for the local-enough 30 Minutes Label Day/Contest yesterday and there was a really good turn-out. (Seven contest entries!) Winners were store-level only, compared to like, the worldwide gunpla contest, and the judging seemed to favor creativity over craftsmanship. (Which makes sense for 30ML, tbh.)

The store itself has rearranged with a big section for gunpla/bandai kits at the front, unlike the little corner the last couple times we were there. While we were there, an old guy was wandering around complaining loudly about how few 'real' model kits there were and how terrible color-separated snapfit stuff is. I was very tempted to confront him but his absolutely mortified wife was already trying to get him out of there.

Let~ People~ Enjoy~ Things~

That said, color-separated snapfit stuff is great and lowers the barrier for entry and can lead to a person attempting different types of models requiring different skills! Or they may be happy sticking with color-separated snapfit stuff and that's also great! (And either way, hobby shops stay in business! Double-great!)

Need to finish up my Redacted entry next.

( March Was Deadlines! )

When not working on my Redacted project, I'm trying to get my desk cleared off and get things ready for the next Hobby Market, which is the 4th. Also need to get this month's mail sent out, which is 90% ready. And some very minor car repairs (and maybe schedule some more major)... Got my eye exam scheduled too because my right eye seems impressively fuzzy again. Blrgh.

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Sucreabeille: Wake The Dead

I'm making an effort to try new things and one of those ongoing new things is trying different scents.

This is more of a challenge than it might seem to most people because I am utterly repulsed by some very common scents, and also some very common scents are major migraine triggers. A lot of it is "chemicals" like room spray, especially bathroom spray, and cheap aerosol perfumes but some natural stuff like stargazer lilies also trigger them. It's fun! It's a fun time! (It's not a fun time.)

Perfume oils don't tend to have the same effect, maybe because I'm so rarely exposed to them. They cling close to the skin, an intimate secret. That intimacy is another reason I like perfume oils - I don't want to make other people smell me, whether it's a scent I think is pleasant (perfume) or one I don't (body odor, garlic sweat, etc.).

I've been getting subscription bags from Sucreabeille (no, that's not a referral link or anything) which means I've been getting fun little surprises. It's a nice thing to look forward to and so far I've had at least one perfume I've really liked out of each batch. And since each subscription bag costs about the price of one perfume, and has more than one perfume... it's good odds. Also I am a sucker for gacha pulls.

It's early spring, but one of the scents I got is Wake The Dead: Spanish coffee, bitter caramel, lavender syrup, soft amber, spice .

It doesn't quite smell like autumn, but it smells autumn adjacent if that makes sense. It's a warm heavy scent, soft, almost snuggly but with a bit of an edge to it. It's a scent I could sink in to; it's the olfactory equivalent of a comfortable sweater.

I don't pick up the coffee scent at all, unless "Spanish coffee" is something I'm not familiar with that's different from drip coffee/espresso. The bitter sweet absolutely comes through. I don't pick up on the lavender syrup much, unless it's adding to the sweetness - if there's anything floral here it's lurking in the background. The spice is nice and mellow.

I'm looking forward to wearing this when it's cold again, but right now I'm more in the mood for light smells. Not so much florals perhaps, but petrichor and green things and maybe honey.

Perfume Master List

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happy equinox, etc

Today was A Travel Day; yesterday, in preparation for same, I Ran Errands, including "acquiring Tiny Cake" and "visiting the pharmacy".

On the way from those two jobs to the next couple, I passed Several Good Things.

One was a new-to-me flavour of completely ridiculous daffodil:

a double daffodil, with white petals and inner trumpet, protruding past a much shorter orange outer trumpet

It's a double not in the sense of having a confusing froth of intermingled trumpets (as of Double Fashion or Double Camparnelle, both of which exist locally), but in the sense of having two nested trumpets, one shorter and orange, from which the longer white one protrudes. I have never! previously! seen a thing like this! I am really enjoying my current streak of encountering varieties of daffodil that make me go "what the fuck???"

Shortly thereafter I checked over my shoulder while crossing a tiny bridge and was startled and delighted to see A COOT UPON THE NEST that, last I passed it, was clearly still derelict. Obviously I went back and Gazed Upon It for Some Time and was eventually rewarded by it STANDING UP to reveal SEVEN??? (possibly) EGGS!!!

And the Egyptian goslings were peeping about the place when I subsequently passed them on my way back up the hill. A+ errands would run again.

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: Birthplace

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Bleh

Yet another not great day, mentally. Not surprised, but it'd be nice to get more shit done, rather than just jiiiiiii. Brains, bleh.

Still, I at least got SOME painting done, am almost finished with redoing the roof bits! Hopefully I'll finish that tomorrow...? I have been neglecting sanding entirely though so you know. That's not great. :/

Was also hoping to make some more zucchini bread today, given I finished the loaf I had out for breakfast, but alas. I at least got the stuff that needed a soak before cleaning into a full sink, though, so that's one less step tomorrow! May also freeze some grated zucchini, there's just. SO MANY. So many. Why so much zucchini... ;;

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Varsity!

This time a week ago I was on the ice with fellow Cambridge alumni for "Alumni game 1", kicking off Varsity. Photos (from one of my Warbirds teammates!) that actually make me look good are over at my hockey insta but here's my personal favourite, capturing a moment in motion:

After about an hour on the ice (2 periods running clock, 4 lines), I had a quick shower, and then spent the next ten or so hours mostly on my feet, doing music and announcements for my Huskies teammates, and scoresheet and in-game announcements for Women's Blues and Men's Blues. Final scores were:

Alumni game 1: 1-1
Alumni game 2: not sure, but we won
Huskies: 3-8
Women's Blues: 0-1
Men's Blues: 5-1

The alumni games were a great vibe: we cared, but it wasn't that intense. A whole load of the women I played with in 2022-23 came back, and for me that was really joyful, plus I got to make some new friends. A couple of the older guys in game 1 had played with my old work colleague Brian Omotani back in the day. Although he didn't play, he was there to watch, and he made time to come and find me for a brief catchup later in the day.

The rest of the day though was a different gear. The Huskies game was especially tough to watch, and I felt every goal against my teammates. The Women's Blues game was incredible, the team worked so hard and it was probably the best I've seen them play. And the Men's Blues winning so decisively was delightful, especially as the first goal came from one of the two ex-Huskies (and they both got an assist each later). The whole day was incredibly intense. And then I took my kit home to hang it up, changed, met up with everyone at Mash, danced until the club closed, went to Maccies (and realised just how much my feet hurt) until that closed, and sat on a bench gossiping with two of my favourite people in the club while one of them finished his burger. Eventually we all cycled home. I didn't want the day to end, but I had things to do on Sunday.

That is, very nearly, the end of the season with just the Nationals weekends in Sheffield to go. We've finished the league games, we've had Varsity, we're shifting to "summer ice" open practices, and even had the very last "S&C" gym session on Thursday this week. Some people will graduate and leave soon, and I will miss them so much, but I am so grateful for this university season and the time I've had with these wonderful people.

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: In Amber Clad - Halo 2

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community: friday five

Friday Five: Dreamwidth

From

thefridayfive

Oh, what a week it has been! Will be catching up on my reading page and comments as I can tonight and tomorrow. =3

What was the reason you began a Dreamwidth or LiveJournal account (or both)?

I never had a LiveJournal account (though I lurked fiercely in the Star Wars fandom then), but I started this account for getyourwordsout last year. I did nothing with the account and didn't really engage with the community over there at all, but I wanted to give it a go this year! It's honestly been super refreshing even with my only active social media platform being tumblr.

How many DW or LJ communities do you subscribe to?

Excluding the dreamwidth news/maintenance ones, eleven!

Do you have a favorite community or one you check out often to see what's new?

Other than reading new posts/comments on my reading page, I don't think so!

How did you pick your user name?

It was from a poem I wrote in high school, haha. I probably still have the poem tucked away somewhere as I don't remember much else about it, but the cybernetic dryads imagery and ideas have held strong.

If you could change your user name, would you?

Absolutely not! I've been cyberneticdryad for this long (and am that just about everywhere else). Plus I'm terrible at picking names.

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updoot (DRUNK POST!)

Day off 2 out of 3:

( boring list, some suggestive content mentioned )

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Friday Five

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

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The Friday Five

The preceding two weeks of Friday Five questions didn't pique my interest, but this week's are great. Love a bit of meta-blogging. Thank you for the opportunity to navel-gaze.

What was the reason you began a Dreamwidth or LiveJournal account (or both)?

I started off on LJ in 2001 because everyone was doing it. I created an account and then let it sit for a couple of weeks while I figured out what it was for. I think it was victorine who prodded me into posting regularly and then I just…never stopped.
How many DW or LJ communities do you subscribe to?

A few dozen in total. Most of them are dead, the LJ communities in particular. The only one I participate in regularly is DW community awesomeers, because I'm one of the two people who puts up the daily “Just One Thing” posts. I find it easier to write a short comment about my day there than to write up a full post, especially during the work week.
Do you have a favorite community or one you check out often to see what's new?

See above. I also enjoy thefridayfive, and I like reading threeforthememories during its annual spate of activity.
How did you pick your user name?

My current username is a play on my actual name. My original LJ name was “lilith” as that's the pseudonym I first adopted when I started interacting with online communities back in the 90s. Eventually I felt I'd outgrown it, and I've been nanila ever since.
If you could change your user name, would you?

That would genuinely be a big decision after more than 15 years of using this one, in a lot more places than DW and LJ. I'd have to do substantive additional navel-gazing to work out what it would be.

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: Birthplace

Entry tags:

Well today also sucked.

The one tiny silver lining is it sucked for actual real sucky reasons, not just my brain being an asshole. Doesn't make it suck less, but at least I don't have to worry about brain management.

Mostly it's just been stupid everyday shit - Sushi PLEASE STOP PEEING IN THINGS OTHER THAN THE LITTERBOX - which is annoying and ruins your day but isn't, you know, otherwise noteworthy.

But I also found out that the one youtuber who I kind of keep up with fucking died a couple of days ago, and that just. Sucks. So bad.

It's not like we were personally close, or anything, but her work is stuff I keep coming back to. I don't know how many hours I've spent knitting/otherwise crafting with it on, let alone every other time I've decided I felt like watching things. Hundreds, though, at a minimum. And sure it's parasocial, but what with all the anecdotes and stuff spread around you do get the feeling of knowing someone, at least on an acquaintance level, and... now she's dead.

So yeah. I'm really fucking sad. Today fucking sucked.

I'mma go to bed now. As KoS would always say, "Take care of yourselves, and each other."

some good things

Migraine World Summit is finished for the year and they chose an extremely good closing keynote about which I am cheerful and bouncy. (Messoud Ashina, CGRP, PACAP & beyond, say if you would like me to try to write more about this).
Got to spend time with The Child! Was summoned Upstairs to Rest and Read Books for a bit. Some really really excellent self-management and regulation in there around Lots Of Feelings.
BRONZE AGE LOOM.
Good therapy session.
There is now a box of veg cassoulet (+ suspicious protein chunks) in the freezer to be Future Food, and another two portions on the hob for dinner tomorrow.
I know I keep mentioning the Bedtime Ritual of Lebkuchen and Milk but this is because it is very good and very soothing, okay.
My watch continues a viable approach to biofeedback (so all I need now is to remember to actually do it...)

Current Mood: accomplished

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february booklog of excess

( 17. An Academic Affair - Jodi McAlister ) Enormously fun and I'm hoping for sequels!

( 18. The Shots You Take - Rachel Reid ) Fairly forgettable, but still entertaining enough to keep me reading.

( 19. The Spy Who Loved Me - Ian Fleming ) I don't think Fleming is for me, but there was some enjoyment available.

( Greenwing and Dart - Victoria Goddard ) Fluffy, fun (despite a substantial amount of mortal peril) and a generally satisfying binge.

( 26. How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie ) Dated but I think still worth reading.

( 27. Holiday in Death, 28. Festive in Death, and 29. Framed in Death - JD Robb ) I always enjoy these - but particularly liked the opportunity to revisit the early part of the series in contrast to the newer state of things!

( 30. Derring-Do for Beginners - Victoria Goddard ) I was hoping for more actual, you know, Red Company, but this was so much fun I can't have too many regrets.

( 31. Jane Austen: A Life - Claire Tomalin ) I think this is probably as enlightening as it could reasonably have been, but I was a little disappointed, somehow, despite learning a fair amount. It's not badly-written at all, but it never really won me over somehow.

( 32. Chain-Gang All-Stars - Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah ) Ultra-violent, really thumpingly Message-y, and strangely compelling; I don't think I'll ever want to re-read it, but I am interested to see where Adjei-Brenyah goes from here.

( 33. Blood Sport, 35. The Edge, and 37. Risk - Dick Francis ) A trio of delightfully exciting nonsenses; I'm so sorry I didn't discover Francis years ago, but on the other hand at least they are a source of joy for me now.

( 34. Men Explain Things to Me - Rebecca Solnit ) A short but concentrated dose of feminist rage.

( 36. Outcrossing - Celia Lake ) On paper this absolutely should be my jam, but it entirely is not.

( 38. Batman: Wayne Family Adventures vol 2 - CRC Payne and Starbite ) Adorable. This series is just so fun.

( 39. Just One Damned Thing After Another - Jodi Taylor ) This is a fun concept, but the archaeology / history is worse than in Connie Willis' Oxford Time Travel books and that's saying something. I didn't hate it, but I had to disconnect my brain way too much to enjoy it.

( 40. Ambiguity Machines - Vandana Singh ) A really excellent collection, even though I couldn't muster quite the delight I wanted from it.

( 41. Get A Life, Chloe Brown - Talia Hibbert ) I enjoyed this, although I'm not sure if I'll read more Hibbert.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: Birthplace

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Fuck my fucking brain, ugh

So today has been. Bad. Mentally.

No reason I can see, unless I perhaps need to go outside more? But I'm eating a vaguely balanced diet, and sleeping enough even if at weird hours, and - oh. Right. I do keep forgetting to take my meds/taking them late/etc. That might be the problem.

Anyway today I mostly failed any and all will saves over just going the fuck to sleep. The fact that Sushi has been extremely cuddly hasn't helped, of course, but the first will save was when he woke me up at fuckoff o'clock (like 7:30 or something) and I kicked him out into the back of the house because hahaha noooo. And then didn't get out of bed again until mid-afternoon. Sooooo. Yeah. Not great.

Despite that, I did get some chore-like things done - took out the rubbish, cleaned the chook feeder (it generally doesn't need cleaning, since the inside is protected from dust, but the mechanism's stuck a couple of times recently so I figured it needed dusting. There was uh. A lot of dust), that kinda thing.

And I DID do some painting? Still only like two thirds of the way through the first edge though. :/ Kinda thinking it might be more efficient to just... do some very temporary tape and paint it quickly, rather than have to be so! fucking! precise!! Which is uh not my strong point.

Didn't do any sanding, though, which is. Less good. :/

Anyway, now is time for bed again and hopefully tomorrow will be better!!! >:

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Poet's Corner: The Weary Blues by Langston Hughes & Beloved...by Elizabeth Acevedo

The Weary Blues by Langston Hughes

Droning a drowsy syncopated tune,
Rocking back and forth to a mellow croon,
I heard a Negro play.
Down on Lenox Avenue the other night
By the pale dull pallor of an old gas light
He did a lazy sway. . . .
He did a lazy sway. . . .
To the tune o’ those Weary Blues.
With his ebony hands on each ivory key
He made that poor piano moan with melody.
O Blues!

( Read more... )

Beloved, Or If You Are Murdered Tomorrow by Elizabeth Acevedo

Watch on YouTube

pointy animals

I left so many things out of the zoo post on Saturday (that I have still not gone back to add in) but the one I am telling you about today (aside from the dwarf mongeese, which I mention only in passing) is Snake, But What If Unicorn:

( Read more... )

This Creature is Gonyosoma boulengeri, the rhinoceros ratsnake. The accompanying distractions included, gloriously,

The function of their majestic nose-points is unknown as we still have a lot to learn about these beautiful animals.

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wordy wednesday

Word: Egregore

Wednesday's word is...

...egregore

An egregore is a non-physical entity or thought-form created and sustained by the collective thoughts, emotions, and attention of a group of people.

Origins and Etymology

The term "egregore" comes from the French égrégore, derived from the Ancient Greek egrēgoros, meaning "wakeful" or "watcher". Historically, it referred to angelic beings known as "watchers" in the apocryphal Book of Enoch. In modern esoteric and occult traditions, the term evolved to describe a collective psychic or spiritual entity generated by the shared focus of a group.

An egregore is not merely symbolic; it is considered to have a form of independent existence, influencing the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions of the group that created it. It can arise intentionally, through rituals or focused visualization, or unintentionally, through repeated collective attention. The more energy, devotion, or attention a group invests, the stronger and more autonomous the egregore becomes.

--

I found this in this YT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsvMrDldOpQ

The Patriarchy's Secret Weakness | Why Withdrawal Works with the summary: Patriarchy is not just a system of laws. It is a ghost we keep alive by feeding it. In this video, I explore the concept of patriarchy as a "Stealth Egregore"—a self-sustaining psychological pattern that survives not through our consent, but through our compliance

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: Birthplace

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Saaaanding

Ugh, back in sanding hell. This time it's hell because I checked on the undercoat, and it says if you wanna put it on oil based paints you need to sand it back far enough all the shiny's gone. That is. That is a lot.

Particularly since I can't use the electric sander for most of it - the bookshelves are too short to get it in there orz orz orz. Can do the backs, and the sides, but yeaaaaaah. Tops and bottoms gotta be hand sanded. I THINK I got one at least mostly done, but I'll have to check tomorrow. I was wiping the dust off as I went with a damp cloth, so hard to say for sure if the shiny's all gone when it's still damp. :/

Also started repainting the bits of the roof that need it, and. Ugh. It's gonna take FOREVER, I can tell already. Combination of 'have to use a tiny brush because of the precision required' and 'need to concentrate REALLY REALLY HARD', alas, so there's no real way of speeding it up. Just need to keep doing it until the brain gets tired! And then sanding because that doesn't need brain, that just needs muscles. And then when muscles are protesting too much, time for a break. Yes. Something like that, anyway.

Thinking I might need to hit some bits with the paint stripper, too. Curved bit at the top, bits at the sides where even the hand sander can't get in easily, that kind of thing. Bleeeeeeeh, it's gonna be a pain I can tell already. But OH WELL at least!!! This is the last thing that needs this sort of treatment! Probably!

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lel

Tumblr backtracked on its horrible update, but I still want to use this site more. I'll cross-post things here, check my reading page, and my inbox some other time.

TFF is next weekend and I have 3 days off in a row today. What I roughly want to do in the coming days:

- I gave my mom some cash to do our laundry while I'm at work today. That's one important thing done.
- I have to go visit my father's house tomorrow because the stupid racist old man can't pick up after himself without a woman around, and his personality is too ugly to remarry a 3rd or 4th time. Many such cases. Hopefully I can get some cash in exchange for doing his chores.
- I want to see if I can transfer the contents of my current Ivy itabag to my new itabag. The con is my coffin shaped itabag was a good gimmick, the pro is the new bag can work as a purse and I want to advertise the most kino FE game as often as I can. I started last night and arranging the keychains on the insert has been hell. I don't want to give up and put them back in the coffin bag, but that's the worst case scenario.
-- (I should get more alien tape, though...)
- Tamers12345 has a new episode on Friday, so ideally I can catch up on the episodes by then. Otherwise I'm probably watching MLP Tales with a Bluesky mutual.
- I need to compile the stuff I want to give away and trade at TFF. A reprint of the stickers I gave out at Harmonycon should come in the mail soon, but I have collectibles and LPS toys I want to trade.
- I need to draw more :(
- My site is currently retired but I have a piece in progress called "Green Man Go Home and the tolerance paradox"... guess what it's about... I considered not writing essays anymore, but being in irl social spaces and Bluesky made me realize I desperately need my own area to air out grey area opinions. Sigh.

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voluntary constraint of choice: a rediscovery

I was fascinated to read Jo Walton's post on How to read sixteen books at once at all times, because I have recently - and somewhat inadvertently - set up something similar for myself.

In mid-February I got fed up of all the half-read things in my ebook reader, so I went through and tagged a bunch of them - things I wanted to read, things I meant to get around to, etc - in a special collection, and then said "OK now you can only read things from this collection". I started out with 25 books, but added a few more either because a) they were new Dick Francis books that I wanted to read (2 books), or b) they were for a book group meeting that I had suddenly realised was approaching (2 books). Since then I have read only one ebook not in that collection (another book group! but a chapter-by-chapter one, so I don't want to read the whole thing yet), one paper book (oh look for a different book group), and a few chapters of other paper books, and the collection is down to 12.

It's actually been tremendously productive as an approach ( rambling about my reading habits )

In conclusion, it's been great for my reading but terrible for my booklog, which is sadly behind even though I've been working on it reasonably regularly.

(no subject)

Oh my GOD can it be spring yet, I am SO TIRED OF WINTER. There is a tiny tiny tiny pink nubbin of rhubarb in the garden. No asparagus yet. I cannot wait to get the dopamine hit of seeing my summer clothes for the first time in months.

The NT's production of The Importance of Being Earnest is of course a delight (Sharon D. Clarke deserves a knighthood and Ncuti Gatwa wears clothes, and few clothes, to perfection); velveteenrabbi and D's Pesach class is as excellent as one might expect; somewhere on this desk is an embroidery needle and I am convinced the gherkin is going to stab herself with it. Wednesday is actually largely unscheduled and I need only survive the conference Thursday, which requires me to leave the house at godawful o'clock.

I am looking forward to the three-hour train ride and the Dessa concert so much. And then I get a weekend in my favorite city! I have been promised brunch and a museum and rainbow cookies and bagels. (Promised by myself and I intend to follow through in every particular.)